The Smashing Pumpkins live at Hordern Pavilion, March 27

It's always a little sad when a band one has loved since one's teenage years undoes seven or so years' worth of magic in one night. But to be fair, the band I saw last night wasn't the Smashing Pumpkins. It was Billy Corgan singing Smashing Pumpkins songs. And it wasn't even good.

The show began half an hour before its scheduled time, resulting in around 80% of late-comers, including ourselves. We ran inside just as Tonight, Tonight was wrapping up, only to learn the three songs we'd missed were from the band's latest album, Zeitgeist. Phew.

But I'm not going to do a review. The show doesn't deserve one. This is all I'm going to say: they played too many new songs, not enough good ones, they completely fucked up Bullet With Butterfly Wings by playing it three times too fast, and, on top of all that, they had the audacity to do that trendy half-an-hour-of-ambient-noise bullshit which seems to be the go with bands these days. If I want to listen to ambient noise I'll go to a Tool concert. At least they have the courtesy of walking off stage for twenty minutes so you know you can relax and take a piss or whatever. But here was Billy Corgan, last seen on these shores when I was still learning my times-tables, and he's got the nerve to keep everyone waiting while he shows us he can use an effects pedal.

Why don't these bands learn to quit while they're on top? It's a question that's puzzled me for years. In any case, next time I put on a Pumpkins album I'll make sure to erase the memory of last night for fear of polluting my experience. I suggest you do the same.